18 April, 2006

Lee Raymond Plans for Retirement

Retiring Exxon chief, Lee Raymond was given a $400,000,000 benefit package. Here are the ten best comments, overheard at his going away party.

10. Now I can afford cosmetic surgery to move that giant extra chin to my second face.
9. I'm going to send really nice gifts to bin Laden and Zarqawi, for making this all possible.,
8. Hell, now that Abramoff's gone, and Cheney ain't running for anything, I might as well just throw the money away and live on the 50 million I made last year.
7. Finally, I can buy those 4 shares of Google.
6. Internet start up; chinharmony.com
5. Sure it sounds like a lot of money, but after taxes I'm only bringing home like 4 mill a week.
4. Charity? Wasn't that Cher's daughter?
3. I'm taking the entire illegal immigrant population to a Dodgers game.
2. Moving to Vanuatu and changing my name to Jon Frum
and the number 1 comment overheard at Lee Raymond's retirement party:
1. Offer Leno 200 Million to stop with the Jabba the Hutt jokes.

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